Sometimes confidence takes time to build, especially if you’re an introvert or shy. You can lose your confidence when you think your self-esteem is at stake and nothing you do can help you bring it back.
The thing is, confidence comes back when you need it to and there are ways to work around that. For instance, if you feel like you’re low on confidence while talking to a girl, there are things to keep in mind or do, to increase your level of confidence. But remember, it does not happen overnight and takes some amount of effort to work on the same.
So, the next time you’re at a bar and see someone you really like and want to approach but think you lack confidence, it can be made easy. Talking to girls isn’t that tough TBH. It’s not a piece of cake either but with the right amount of self-assurance and belief, you can make it rather easy for you, because inherently, man is a social animal!
So, here are 3 things you can do to work on your level of confidence, before approaching a woman, to talk to her:
(1) Start Engaging With Strangers
Nope, I don’t mean that in a creepy way. When I say engage with strangers I mean, start talking to people you don’t know, around you. I don’t mean stalk someone or harass someone, but if you engage with anyone outside of your comfort zone, it helps you exercise and acknowledge your confidence. If you’re at a store or even walking down the street, you can start a conversation with anyone about anything of relevance.
Approach a support staff at a restaurant, or a customer service staff member at a store and ask help for finding something, or an opinion on a product. While at a restaurant, have a conversation with the waiter about the best dishes they have to offer. Basically, just engage in usual banter with absolute strangers. This gives you the ability to talk to more people and makes you comfortable in holding conversations socially.
(2) Start Having Smaller Interactions
Now that you’ve built some confidence in starting a conversation with someone and have strengthened your social skills a little, start having conversations with people around you, not necessarily with the girl you like. Build your social skills further by having some meaningful interactions. If you’re at a social setting, approach a group of people and start a conversation on an interesting topic.
If you’re joining a group discussion, definitely have your opinion ready and get responses from people. Talk to people at work and engage them in conversations. This exercise will make it easier for you to converse without holding back and checking twice on the approach of your confidence. Once you establish proper social and interaction skills, you’re ready to go on ahead and talk to anyone!
(3) Give Your Conversation A Purpose & Make Eye Contact
Now that you’ve moulded your social skills, it’s good to head out into public spaces and try and approach women. If you like to head to a bar and meet women, that’s a perfect setting because that’s where maximum engagement happens with the opposite sex. Apart from dating apps, which are easier to access if you want to talk to women, public places have certain nuances that you have to keep in check before approaching someone. You body language, for instance, has to be on point or else it’s one of the first things to turn someone off.
When you’re approaching someone, make sure you establish adequate eye-contact. If you make eye contact with a girl you like, it’s easier to approach her, knowing she’s interested too. Just be sure not to stare and know the difference between mutual eye contact and constantly staring at her. If she’s interested she will keep making eye contact with you.
When you do approach her, start a good conversation and don’t even think of using pick up lines. They’re not cool and she will definitely run away. Start by asking how her day was perhaps and take it away from there and if she’s interested in the conversation, she will definitely stay instead of making excuses to go back to doing what she was. Give your conversations a purpose and don’t make them arbit or sleazy!
Building confidence to talk to women isn’t rocket science really. It just needs some amount of homework and belief in yourself, along with a few exercises to get you there!